Cross-Eyed Kitten
(A parody of James Blunt's "Goodbye My Lover)

 

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"Cross-Eyed Kittens" Lyrics
By Kevin Sage

Every year, thousands of kittens around the world are born crosseyed. 
Last year, I fell in love with one of them.  This song is for her.

Don’t know where they’re pointing, one up, one down.
Sometimes it’s kind of confusing, at first it made me frown.
But then one day,  I remember I saw
Through that crosseyed window, to your crosseyed soul.
Oh, sweet feline,  I looked in your eyes
Well, they point in different directions, so it was one at a time,
You looked me over, I said, “I’m over here.”
You started to cry a crosseyed tear,

Then you touched my face, you touched my nose
You scratched my neck, and tore my clothes,
You’re nearly blind and smell like fish
One of a kind. Oh, how I’ll miss
Those little black lips, and frizzy head,
You sleep in the litter and poop in your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I’ll feed your addiction to nip.

My crosseyed kitten,  My crosseyed friend.
You see the world in double, You see the world in double.
My crosseyed kitten, My crosseyed friend.
Oh, you never catch, you never catch that ball of yarn.

Four legged dreamer, at the foot of my bed,
You look so peaceful, but when you break wind you could raise the dead.
But I didn’t mind, when you poisoned the air,
Cause I still remember all the good times we’ve shared.

Oh, we’ve watched Oprah, and Dr. Phil
I’ve watched you sleep in the window sill.
I’d be the father of your child
Did I say that out loud?
Ha, ha! Imagine that.
A grown man mating with a crosseyed cat.
Forbidden love, it can’t be stopped.
Call me crazy, but maybe we could adopt

Some crosseyed kittens, my crosseyed friend,
Perhaps a spotted one, oh wouldn’t that be fun
My crosseyed lover, I mean, my crosseyed friend.
I’m just kidding around,
Unless you’re not, cause I’d be totally be down.

And I still remember the way you’d jump into my arms….and miss.
And I will cherish the time you brought me a hairball and thought it was a mouse.

My crosseyed kitten,  my crosseyed friend
We should’ve never gone,  we should’ve never gone on that jog.
My crosseyed kitten, My crosseyed friend
I thought you were right behind me,
But your little crossed eyes just couldn’t find me.

You couldn’t follow, kitty, you couldn’t follow.
You couldn’t, you couldn’t, you couldn’t follow
You couldn’t follow, kitty, you couldn’t follow.
You couldn’t, you couldn’t, you couldn’t follow.

 

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